6.10.10 Day 2

This is the picture Aaron brought me this morning. He is still intubated and still as cute as can be. Today they will attempt to extubate him and see how he does on a machine called a Si-Pap. It is like a Bi-Pap machine people with sleep apnea use at night. If they are able to do that, they will also do some tests on him including some scans of his brain to see if he has any bleeding, which is highly likely and common for a preemie of his gestation. They also plan to insert a PICC line in his arm so that they can remove the umbilical line they placed in his belly button. This will allow us to hold him, as their is less risk for bleeding if it were to come out. Please Lord, let this plan for today work. I just want to hold my baby!

I finally make it up to the NICU and what to I see? My tough cookie with just oxygen through a nasal cannula! I couldn't believe it. He was intubated for less than 24 hours and already on oxygen! That's my boy! I was finally able to get a good look at his cleft lip and palate, as well. It is funny how that was the last thing on my mind at this point. Before, I was so worried about how that would affect him and now it was not a concern.

I took this picture as the nurses were messing with him. He kept swinging his little fists. He tried his darndest to hit one of them! He was done being messed with! Of course we all just laughed at him, but it was wonderful to see how feisty he was! He had so much fight in him!!

Later that afternoon placed his PICC line and I was FINALLY able to hold him! I was scared to touch him before, so now I am terrified to hold him. I sat in the recliner, shaking, as the nurse organized his wires and tubes. They placed him in my arms and I melted. He was so tiny! He snuggled right up close on my chest. I was in heaven.

June 1, 2010- More Dr's Appointments

At this point I am pretty tired of all the appointments and co-pays that come along with them! But today we get to see the specialist, Dr Weeks, again. We were hoping to get some better pictures of Aiden this time, but that did not happen. The little booger kept his hands in front of his face most of the time. We were able to see that the cleft more than likely did affect his palate, as we were hoping it did not. Oh well, just one more hurdle for us to jump, we can do it! Here is a picture we did catch.

We have another appointment in 2 weeks to have another ultrasound, maybe he will cooperate more then!

May 2010- just a year behind!!

           So, it is finally sinking in that our little man is going to have what the cleft community refers to as a "Wide Smile." By this point I have done research in this short time then I ever did for any of my 3 college degrees. It is completely overwhelming but comforting at the same time.
            I was fortunate enough to come across an amazing support group on a community board, as well as finding a wonderful blog written by an amazing mom of triplets (one of which has a cleft.) Ami may not realize it, but she has helped me so much along this crazy journey. Reading her blog and the kind words in her messages to me kept me grounded when my world felt like it was turning upside down. It was so nice to see that it really would all be okay when it felt as though it wouldn't be. Thank you Ami, for being so kind and for sharing the story of your Bunchkins with so many!
           Aside from taking this time to educate ourselves on what is to come, we are trying to get Aiden's nursery together and just live life. So far I have the bedding... firemen of course! Just need to order and assemble his furniture, decorate, and wait. Little did we know he would be here before ANY of that was accomplished!
             It is also DERBY TIME is Kentucky and this is a pretty big deal here in Louisville! So as usual, we head over to my grandma's annual Derby party like I have been doing my whole life. I cannot wait until next year, when Aiden will be here with us.
         Also this month is my baby cousin's graduation from grade school. I say baby cousin because that is what she will always be to me, a baby.. not this teenager she has become! She has always been my mini-me, she is an incredibly smart, caring young lady and I am so proud of her. I am also proud of her choice in high schools! She has decided (with a little nudge from yours truly, to go to Mercy! I told you she was smart!) I think I may have cried more than her own mother at the graduation. I love that girl! Later I plan to ask her to be Aiden's Godmother.. wonder what the answer will be?!

         This month has been kind of a blur with fire department banquets, parties, work, doctor's appointments (with  different OB/GYNs- my regular and a specialist.) It is finally time to have some fun on the river for Memorial day! Don't mind my big belly or blinding whiteness. It was way too hot to keep covered up!
         
      I almost forgot the super cute letters I made for his wall! By the end of May we did have at least one thing ready for his arrival!
I used letters from Hobby Lobby and different scrapbooking papers, ribbons, stickers, and Mod.Podge. I love the way they turned out! I just wish that I would have bought an exacto knife to cut the paper. It would have made things much easier!

April 28, 2010: One Picture Changes Everything...

Today is the day. I am 22 weeks. We finally get to see if our little bean is a boy or girl! We were so excited and couldn't wait to get back in the little room where they do the ultrasounds. The sonographer that works at my OB/GYN is wonderful and knew how excited we were to finally find out. So I lay down on the table and she gels me up and immediately we see this:

ITS A BOY!!!!!!

There he is... our Aiden Michael (we had names picked out as soon as we found out we were pregnant)

The sonagrapher tried for a few minutes to get a picture of his face. The little booger had his hands up in front of his face every time. Then, finally, a face flashes across the screen and my heart stops. The sonographer saw it too, but Aaron didn't catch it. She proceeds to print out pictures, wipe my belly off, and assist me off the table. We then head into my OB/GYN's office- which I am pretty sure most people don't do after they find out the sex of their baby.

I love my OB/GYN. I often work with him at the hospital and he has known my mother for years. I knew when I saw his face that what I thought I saw was for real. I immediately started bawling. He didn't have to say a word. But he did. He explained that from the pictures Aiden appeared to have a unilateral cleft lip and that usually that is completely isolated and he will not have any other issues associated with it, but he wants us to see a specialist to get more detailed pictures and to see if the palate is affected also. After a lot of tears we head out of his office. In the hallway we pass the sonographer who is awaiting us with a hug. She said she knew I had seen it on the screen, but that she couldn't say anything to me about it. She assured me it would all be ok.

This is what we saw:

Now what do we do? We just got incredible news that we are having a boy and at the same time find out our baby has a cleft lip. We didn't know if we should be excited or sad. After a lot of crying we decided that it was unfair to Aiden to be sad and not celebrate. There was nothing we could at this point. But in the back of my mind I still blamed myself. I was so sick during my pregnancy I relied heavily on Zofran and Phenergan- maybe they played a part in it. I couldn't keep anything down, including my prenatal vitamins- maybe it was caused by some sort of deficiency. Somehow, I was sure that I had caused it. Why else would this be happening to us?

We went on and announced it to the family and on FB just like we had planned. And I was reassured that it was not because of anything I did or didn't do.

Meet Aiden

Meet Aiden- our 8 month old miracle. He has a smile that will melt any heart that sees it, but he hasn't always had that smile. He was born with a much different smile, what many call a "wide smile." Aiden has a unilateral cleft lip and palate.

He was also born 12 weeks premature. In his short life, our little boy has been through so much, and has more to come. He spent 2 months in the NICU and has had 1 of many surgeries to correct his cleft.

Through this blog I hope to spread the story of our amazingly strong little man, one post at a time.

Every smile has a story...... this is Aiden's